If you are or will be going through a mastectomy, here is a little encouragment for you that I hope will bring some ease and hope… Also, these were two of the best books I read when I was going through treatment: Anticancer: A New Way of Life and Radical Remission: Surviving Cancer Against All Odds. Plus, this journal from Barnes & Noble.
Write
When you’re filled with questions that are all lacking answers, write. Write like your life depends on it, and it kinda does. Because if you don’t face this, you might stay stuck—lamenting, feeling sorry for yourself, wondering why it happened to you and how unfair it all is. You don’t want to stay there for too long; it’ll take you down.
“What do I write about?” you may be wondering. Write about how you feel. What is scaring you. What your thoughts are. And also write about who is by your side, helping and supporting you. Write down your plans for how to counter the effects of a missing breast.
Draw
If you don’t want to write, don’t feel like it, or it’s “not your thing,” draw. Draw. Draw like your life depends on it, and it kinda does. Because if you don’t face this, you might stay stuck—lamenting, feeling sorry for yourself, wondering why it happened to you and how unfair it all is. You don’t want to stay there for too long, it’ll take you down.
“I don’t know how to draw!” you may be screaming. Well, first, your drawing doesn’t need to be fancy or pretty, or even legible. It just needs to be yours so that years from now when you look back at this, you’ll see how far you’ve come. Draw a curvy rectangle with a dot (the nipple) on one side and nothing on the other, anything. Draw an upside-down heart and place a sticker over one side of the heart, or cross it out if you so feel compelled.
Dress up
If you don’t want to write or draw, don’t feel like it, or it’s “not your thing,” dress up. Dress up like your life depends on it, and it kinda does. Because if you don’t face this, you might stay stuck—lamenting, feeling sorry for yourself, wondering why it happened to you and how unfair it all is. You don’t want to stay there for too long, it’ll take you down.
“To go where?” you might be asking, irritated. Nowhere. To go for a walk. To go to the grocery store, because chances are, you still have to do these things. Put on your best jeans, your best t-shirt, your best tennis shoes. Or wear your pumps or your boots. Do your hair, put on some makeup, even just lip gloss if makeup isn’t your thing. Use a prosthesis. If that’s not an option, shawl it up or layer it up.
Question (and write again)
And if or when none of that works, ask yourself what being a woman means to you. When you look beyond the physical parts of your femininity, you realize your womanhood is way too deep and mysterious to be summed up by breasts or vaginas. So losing a breast? That doesn’t take away your feminine nature, your womanhood, or your woman powers—not even close. Those remain intact. You’ll find that the enemy was the voice telling you otherwise, and once you’ve overcome that, you’ve left the worries and fears about your femininity behind.
Being a woman means you keep being yourself—only stronger. You become walking proof of your battle and conquest. The journal becomes your Proof of Authenticity—you don’t need it, but it feels good to have. I keep my Proof of Authenticity in the journals I talked about in last week’s post (the link is at the top of this post). That’s when they came into my life.
This week on IG:
I feel like I failed on Instagram this week. I missed a day and didn’t finish the artwork I said I would finish, and I added a poll and didn’t get a response. I suppose that is part of it–getting responses feels good, not getting them feels bad. I’m learning, though, that having a focus and direction helps with not getting too hung up over the numbers–good or bad. If you have an idea and a kind reason for doing it, you have a focus and a reason to keep going.
This week turned out to be all about a cactus drawing. I wasn’t expecting that. On my walks I kept thinking about what direction I wanted my drawings to take and being that I love the educational (I wanted to be a teacher), I decided I wanted to make it about nopales, or cactuses (or cacti). Because I’m Mexican-American, because I love history, and because I learned something interesting while reading about it.
On the nopal grows an insect whose blood make a deep beautiful red that for centuries, during Mesoamerican times, and then during the times of New Spain, was kept secret. So secret that France and England sent spies to New Spain to uncover the secret of this gorgeous red that decorated the most powerful and their homes. How could anyone not want to write about that if they knew!
Last week, I got caught up in details and perfectionism. This week, I’m going to stick with the “done is better than perfect” mindset.
These are the pics I shared on IG this week:
